Chapter Thirteen: I Was Never Good At Goodbye

I have said a lot of goodbye's in my life, but this one I knew would probably be the hardest of them all. There were things about home that I missed, but nothing will ever be to me what Italy has been. What has been difficult for me is finding how to convey in writing the feelings that I have about this country without just telling you the day to day events of my life. Aside from meeting some of the most amazing friends and the most amazing man, there has been so much that happened here that changed me and awed me and drew me in. My heart is attached to this place in a way I never knew was possible. How do I say goodbye?

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A few weeks before leaving I went to the sporting by myself, where I ran into Genio. He asked me if I had  eaten yet, and I said no. Although it was almost ten o'clock, we went to Babayaga, where they kept the kitchen open late, just for us. With the restaurant closing around us, we spent the evening talking and laughing and getting to know each other. Although I met him on my first night in the country, we were both in other relationships at the time and it was truly fate that brought us together this night. From then on we spent every moment away from work together. We spent a day at the beach together swimming and tanning and laughing and drinking, the day before my parents arrived, when he was off and I had just finished my internship. When we got back from dinner that night Genio's roommate told him that because the next day was a new month, the chef gave him that day off too. Although I wanted nothing more than for my parents to meet him, I could hardly ask that of him after only a few weeks...he offered to come without my having to ask. After spending an awesome day with my incredibly wonderful and understanding parents, we got back to Bellagio just in time to go to Lecco for dinner...this time to meet his mother. It was an eventful and emotional day. We only had a few days left, and they truly flew by. Not only with Genio, but with Cristi and everyone else. I had formed such strong bonds that leaving seemed impossible. 

The last day before I left Bellagio I spent with my parents, walking around a very rainy and dreary Bellagio...a feeling that mirrored my own heart. It was hard to not be sad when I thought about leaving everything I had known for the past three months. When Genio got off of work he came and picked me up, and we met my parents for dinner at the Hotel Florence, where we split two bottles of wine. Afterwards, we headed to the Enoteca Wine Bar and went through three more bottles...it was such a fun time I almost forgot that it was my last day there. Because my parents stayed in Como, they had to go back on the boat and I was able to get one last dinner with all of the Americans in Bellagio. It was a wonderful way to wrap things up, and lovely getting to see everyone one last time. After we ate, most of my friends came to the sporting and we relaxed and hung out for a few hours. 

Time came to say goodbye, and I wasn't ready. I cried, of course. More so when Cristi gave me a letter, not to be opened until I get on my plane home. The night was hard, knowing I was leaving a lot of people whom I loved. The morning was harder. I saw Cristi and Genio, before they each went to work, and we all cried. I cried as I walked down to town. Cried as I looked out over the lake and the mountains. I'm crying now, four days later. I also just said goodbye to Genio again...he had two days off and took the train down to Florence to spend here with me and my family. 

It's easy to say I will come back. I always said I'd go back to Mackinac. I also want to go to Nasville, Chicago, DC...truth is, I have no idea. What I do know is that I have felt and received more love here than ever before in my life. I ate better, drank better, and learned an entirely new language (given, that part began two years ago). I can honestly say I've never seen a more beautiful place. The drawback? The work leaves a lot to be desired. If I can get a job here, it won't be what I could get in the United States. I absolutely have better work opportunities there. Can I really hold back from doing what my heart is calling me to do because I can't get a job as a manager? It seems like a silly question. I know the answer. You know the answer. Now let's all just convince my mom, eh? Who knows. For now, I return. I finish school. Maybe I'll cry every day missing this place, and maybe I'll just drink more Italian wine. Maybe I'll never see any of these people again. 

One way or another, I've had the most incredible three months of my life. I lived without reservations and have no regrets, only incredible memories and, hopefully, lifelong friendships. 

Italy has my heart.